Okay, last year before Lent:
Fr. John’s talking to our RCIA class. He is giving us examples of things that we could give up (or take on) for Lent. I hear something like, “Some of you might give up their daily Starbucks or Caribou or whatever it is -”
*and he’s looking in MY direction* Now, wait a minute!! He can’t possibly *know* that I have, like, 8 coffee cards in my wallet. No way. He doesn’t mean to imply that *I* should give up coffee and put that money towards a good use. He must mean someone else. Certainly, God wouldn’t want *me* to give up coffee. I need that caffeine!
The following week - I’m sitting somewhere slightly different in the room.
He does it again!! Aaah! Quit looking at me when you mention coffee. I don’t wanna give up my coffee. Quit picking on my coffee! *internal tantrum occurs*
I get a thought: maybe God wants me to give up coffee for Lent.
Drat! And here I wanted to give up something else, like perhaps solid food. That would be fine. I could do that.
So, I did what he said and went home and prayed about it, and…. *sigh*… gave up coffee for Lent. It actually went quite well. Must be grace, because it certainly wasn’t me. I even managed to resist when people in the store came up to me with nice, fresh, free samples of coffee.
This year:
I have issues with cooking. I have issues with food. I have issues with grocery stores. I was nearly hyperventilating at Kroger the other day, just thinking about having to stick stuff in the cart. I come up with a brilliant idea: on the days that no one signs up to come over, I’ll just fast…. Brilliant, eh? True, I’d probably not really end up doing that, because I realize it’s a cop-out, but in the meantime — it’s a fairly attractive thought.
Here’s the stupidity (or well, more stupidity): I mention this “great” idea to a friend. Said friend (ugh!) knows me too well. :) She states, “No, no, no – in your case, fasting would be less penitential than eating alone!!!”
Drat again! Seriously, have you been talking to my eating disorder specialist? Didn’t she tell you that we like to be tricky?!? I wasn’t kidding that this will be a hard penance for me, and I’ll have to work against myself so that I don’t sneak it into being something unhealthy, and really against what I want it to be.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Jill // Feb 2, 2008 at 12:34 pm
So ahem…I take it you have not yet been in Fr. John’s eyeline this pre-Lenten season? I know you visit Good Council, are you hiding under the pew during his homilies so that you can avoid the x-ray eyes that read minds? He is NOT taking your coffee away this year, is he? ;-)
As this Lent approaches and we are “officially” Catholic I know I need to make this count. I cannot help but dwell on what Fr. told us last year, that what we put into Lent is what we will get out of Easter — which is a profound thought, and so like the holy man who said it — I admit it leaves me feeling a bit overwhelmed.
God is good however and has been leaving me a trail of breadcrumbs to follow for the last several weeks. There is so much I would like to say in detail, but alas this is not my blog and so I will try to be brief for Jaibee’s sake.
First, was Fr. Tim Birney’s homily on vocations - which was elequent and meaningful - we all have our own unique God-given vocation to live out.
Second, Fr. Stanley followed up the next week with his homily on repentence or rather, change. He was brilliant on this subject - sorry for the gushing but you know how I adore this particular man of God - examine your life, take an honest look at what needs to be changed and do so with God’s help.
I think that these two pieces fit together. As I approach this Lent my intention is not so much to give “something” up. For me it’s about giving up “someone” up and that person would be me - in all of my selfish, self-serving, self-absorbed glory - ugh. I’m looking at this season as one of TRUE change, of a change that come from deep inside and works its way out. I hope that each day I will lay something down that I have put before Him and that He will be magnified as those awful idols fall.
I guess you could say I’m going with a sort of “whole body” or “whole spirit” approach - an “entire person makeover.”
It will require much prayer and even more help from the Holy Spirit. Still, I am hopeful and even kind of excited!
2 Jaibee // Feb 2, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Yeah, we don’t do homilies at 6:30 am…. :)
Hahahaha! Hiding under the pews! Yes!!! But, only when I arrive late… :) I think he sees me anyway…. Once, I was *so* late, I just hung out in the hallway until benediction. Fr. Thomas was celebrating Mass. Then, Fr. John walk in, “Hi, Jenn.”
Whoops. Caught being way late to Mass…again. :) At least, I was able to invite him to my Lenten penance, so that was a good thing. :) I really want *lots*of people to come, since I’m not sure if I can do this without people, and plus, relationships are everything, right? First with God, then with others?
Your Lenten penance sounds interesting. How are you going to do that, practically? Yes, you need a blog, if for nothing else but to document your journey. :) But, feel free to comment on mine often and at great length. :)
I don’t think Fr. John needs to look at me to read me. God must tell him or something. He just “knows.” Scary man.
Ah, well, it’s been a go-to-confession! kind of week, so I’d better get ready and go. Very funny, however. There are 3 of us, all going kind of together. They are going to think something’s up. :)
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